Loss

These past two weeks I have lost people from my life. These people I didn't even know. one made me laugh and the other gave me encouragement. I never had the chance to speak to either. One was a beloved actor, the other was a beloved son. These two men both had different impacts on the world, and who and how they affected people are just as different. Both lived life, both did their best. One had a full life , the other was taken way before his time, both impact my life. These two are Leonard Nimoy and Alex Garrett. Most of you will know the first but the former is a mystery. Mr. Nimoy played the iconic role of Spock in Startrek. This show means a lot to me, it filled me with wonder, encouragement and ideologies. It gave my dad and I a common show which we both enjoy. When my dad was deployed I would watch the show for comfort. So seeing an actor who I had followed and listened to pass, affected me in a way that I never experienced before. It wasn't as sad as losing someone you see in your life everyday, but it still affected me.

Alex's story and passing hit me much harder. Alex was young man in my position, faced with this deadly cancer. He was only the second person my age who I have found with my diagnosis. As rare as it is , finding someone who has the same experience is encouragement just knowing that you aren't alone. He fought this battle , but passed away on Saturday Feb. 28.

I never got a chance to speak with Alex. By the time I found out about him, he was already too far along and had lost the ability to speak. I did get to talk with his family. They are absolutely wonderful people with hearts of compassion. Here they were with their son in his last days and they were offering to help me anyway they could. I hope one day I can do something for you both in honor of Alex, and all the kids suffering with this despicable disease.

I was going through Alex's Facebook and reading all the post left by people who he knew. The outpours of emotions from people I only knew as Alex's friend. These random people's comments brought me to tears. I really wish I could have met Alex, he seemed like a compassionate young man, with the charisma to make anyone laugh. We both played baseball and im sure we would have hit it off. Until we can meet, I will keep going.

What the posts showed me was that even in a short time of our lives, we have the ability to affect the lives of many people. I mourn for the losses of these two incredible people, but it is my belief that there is more to be than just this small world. A quote which really spoke to me was, " don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."-Dr. Seuss. I want my life to be remembered in all the happy memories, because those things happened, and the can never be erased. 
I wrote this after a tough day for myself. I am having sinus issues which give me the same symptoms as the early stages of the cancer. I'm hoping that it is the sinus issues. I feel as though the cancer is playing mind games(ha because it's in the brain).  Between the losses, mind games and minor stress of school , I needed an outlet to regroup my thoughts. These weeks, however, reminded me that it's not over and I can't give up just because I feel down. Reading about Alex gave me more encouragement and helps me keep pushing forward.

I have never posted this before but I want to say thank you for all the people praying for me. I really do appreciate you keeping me in your thoughts.

I'll end this post with quotes from both of these men, "Live long and prosper","Can't stop, wont stop".