Just a Little thought

      Felt like writing, since it is 1130 at night and I can't get to sleep. Just a quick little post.  For those who would be interested they got me on this great pill called dexamethasone. It is a corticostesteroid that makes you want to eat, eat, and not sleep....  The first three weeks on it that is about all I would accomplish. Now however, I have been able to sleep though the night twice in a row, and the new diet is helping satisfy and lower the affects of the dex munchies. Dex is the short name i gave to the roid. dexroid, Kinda like the sound of that. what it has helped with is the symptoms, what it does s decrease the swelling in my brain, since the cancer cells were growing and radiation tends to inflame the noggin. I will accept the help of the DEXROID. As for an update, I have feeling in my face and hand again. I can drive and run. Balance is no longer an issue. So most the symptoms are gone, minus the headaches every now and then.

       My little thought which had me thinking was about the past, present and future. We all think about them, they make us feel differently. If you choose to live in the past you find a sense of nostalgia or sadness. Something that once was that can never be again. It is sad to think of and can cause us to depressed, but at the same time the fondness of some of those memories and give us renewed strength. its okay to remember the past, just don't make it your life.
The Future, filled. with wonder and unforeseen circumstances. It can give us aspirations , to do something great, to plan ahead, hope to make tomorrow, a better world. But if the future is known to you, like it is me, it can be full of anxiety. With this cancer, I know the prognosis, its not written in stone, but it's still there. The future is uncertain.
       This is the part I would like to focus on, the present. Much like in a Christmas carol, scrooge was shown the past and present and future. After he was awaken from his nightmare, what did he do? took immediate action. I believe this is one of the morals of the story. Life is only guaranteed this very second. No one is certain if they will be alive tomorrow. Falling asleep those first few nights after the diagnosis scared me. Would that be my last night? I was so uncertain and lost inside my own psyche creating futures that were untrue.
       I'm not saying don't worry about the future and not to think of the past. Just don't live in them. those that live in the past have already seen there best day. Those only thinking of the future are missing all the wonder going on right in front of them *cats craddle sillver spoon song cue* . If there is one thing that this experience has taught me, it has been to enjoy life, realize that every second is time to celebrate.